Be Serious

*Disclaimer:  All of the details of this story have not come out yet, so I apologize for any inaccuracies.

Today, a low-flying 747 accompanied by an F-16 military fighter jet terrified thousands of people in downtown New York and neighboring New Jersey, as it flew alarmingly close to the Statue of Liberty and downtown office buildings.  According to MSNBC, the FAA, New York State Police, and New Jersey State Police were all aware that this was going to happen, as they had been notified by the government.  However, they were not allowed to notify the general public.  Why not???

It was a photo opportunity.

.....................

Be serious.

Sadly, I am being serious.

Imagine sitting in your office at work (in New York City no less), and looking out the window to see a huge jet flying towards you...  What would you do?  I don't know about you, but I'd get the hell out of there.  Which is what roughly a thousand or so people did, until they were notified down on the street that it was all just a photo opportunity...

Apparently they thought it would be a great photo opportunity to have a jet resembling Air Force One in a picture with the Statue of Liberty.  In order to make this happen they needed to fly incredibly low to the ground and the general public was not allowed to be notified of this.

Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work.

If we're not bailing out huge banks because of greedy, irresponsible investors looking to make 3 billion instead of just 2, we're taking the Air Force One jet out for a little joy ride next to the Statue of Liberty.  You've gotta be kidding me.

I just hope they've got a nice frame in mind.  That would really be a shame if it weren't displayed properly in the Oval Office.

For more on this story go to:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30435336/

This Week's Sign of The Apocalypse

This item should probably be called "This Week's Sign of Blawshomeness," but I'll let you be the judge.

There is now a bar open in London where you actually just breathe in a fine mist of gin and tonic instead of consuming alcohol the good ole fashioned way... shot-gunning cans of Natty Light.

Yes, you did just read that correctly.  You breathe in the alcohol.  Apparently, before entering, you put on some sort of futuristic E.T. space suit (seen here)

that apparently protects your clothes from the g & t mist.  Which makes me wonder, if you're down with breathing in alcoholic vapors (or vapours for all you Wankers out there), do you really care if your clothes get soaked in booze???  When inhaling booze, isn't it just a natural progression of events for your clothes to get soaked??  Then, shortly after the clothes soaking, I think the next logical step is passing out on the street.

In any case, customers are charged $7.00 for an hour of glorious time spent inside the booze machine, and apparently the creators of the bar, Sam Bompas and Harry Parr, "have carefully calculated the 'mixology' of alcohol vapour in the air to give you a slightly merry buzz in 40 minutes."

This has really got to be an alcoholic's heaven - imagine drinking AND breathing in alcohol... Can life get any better???  I submit that it canNOT!  Also, if you get buzzed in 40 minutes, what happens when 2 AM rolls around and you've been in there since 9...  I'll tell you what happens - Magic.  Happy drinking everybody.

Cheers Mikechoppers!

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Another Day Another Dolla

"An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox."

- Lao Tzu

Thursday, April 23, 2009

(7:30 - 8:45 PM)

1.) Warmup:

8 Times:

     75 Swim

     50 One-arm Fly

2.)

4 Times:

    100 Kick w/board

     100 I.M. Drill

3.)

3 Times:

300 (4:30) 6 Breaths per 50

6 x 50 (:40) FAST

200 Easy

Daily Total:  3,800 Yards

Redemption Total:  52,750 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption.

"My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging."

- Hank Aaron

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

2,700 Yards

Daily Total:  2,700 Yards

Redemption Total:  48,950 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Slop-Fest

"Some days you eat the bar and somedays, well, the bar, he eats you."

- Cowboy Dude in The Big Lebowski

Tuesday April 21, 2009

(7:30 - 8:30ish PM)

1.) Warmup:

     5 Times:

          150 Free Swim

          50 Back

2.)

10 x 75 (1:15)

     Odds:   50 one-arm fly, 25 kick

     Evens:  25 breast, 25 free, 25 kick

10 x 50 (:45)

     5 Build

     5 Descend

3.)

4 x 150 (2:00)

     #4 Fast

*This wasn't the whole set, but my head wasn't in it today so I got out in the middle of it, which is something I almost never do.  Do you ever have one of those days where you're just off?  My mind was elsewhere, and I just needed to get out of there.  Simply put, this was one of those days where the bar ate me.

I guess some days are like that, and you just have to let it go, forget it and move on.  I will just say ARGH and blah and be done with it.  Better Mikechoppin next time.  That must be why it's called a road to redemption.

Daily Total:  2,850 Yards

Redemption Total:  46,250 Yards

The Price Is Right -- Manhattan Racing Trials Meet Summary

"The water is your friend.  You don't have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move."

- Aleksandr Popov

That's right folks, the price was right for this young Mikechopper as he made his way back to the competitive waters once again this past Saturday, April 11, 2009.  Following a lay-off from competition that lasted over two years and brought with it a college graduation, a knee surgery, 4 moves (first West, then back East), and two separate Cubs playoff meltdowns, I jumped back into the water in pursuit of true redemption.

It was cold, dark, grey and rainy as I left work at the Weekend Today Show (where I'd been since 5 AM) and made my way over to the Asphalt Green Aquatic Complex for the 11:00 AM warm-ups.  The weather, however, couldn't dampen my spirits as I couldn't have been more thrilled and happy to be back in the chlorine where I belong.  Plus, I had the privilege and blessing of meeting the legendary Bob Barker just hour before, so I was riding high.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend...

But enough with all this pre-meet buildup, let's down down to brass tacks!

The meet:

Starting at 11:00 AM and finishing at 2:00 PM, I competed in 8 events (5 Individuals, 3 Relays).  I swam in events #1, 5, 7, 11, 12, 13, 15, and 18 -- The 200 Free Relay, 50 Free, 100 I.M., 200 Medley Relay, 200 Free, 100 Fly, 100 Free, and 400 Free Relay.  Full results can be found here.

Those of you who know me are probably saying either, "Wow, bold move" or "What an idiot!"  Both statements were probably appropriate...

200 Free Relay:  We started off the meet strong in the 200 Free Relay, taking 2nd in our division (18-24).  I felt fast, but definitely felt like I was spinning my wheels.  My breakout, turn and finish were not great, but I dove in after the guy next to me and finished ahead of him, so that was nice.  Unfortunately, we didn't get any of our relay splits throughout the meet because the timer wasn't functioning properly.

50 Free:  I felt good again in the 50 Free, going 22.11 to post the fastest time of the meet.  I definitely could've easily gone 21.9 or 21.8, but suffice it to say that there was still significant rust on the breakout and the turn.

100 I.M.:  This was a really fun event.  I went 59.47 (out in 28.19, back in 31.28) to win my division, but unfortunately was touched out for the fastest time of the meet by a guy in an older division in my heat (he went 59.30).  Again, not to beat a dead horse here, but my turns were pretty horrific so I feel like there is plenty of room for improvement there.

200 Medley Relay:  The rust finally came off and I really felt like I hit my breakout, turn and finish.  I split a 21.61 -- a time that certainly isn't incredible, but with which I'm pretty satisfied.  Our relay took 2nd in our age group.

200 Free:  My swim of the meet.  I literally could not have been happier with this race.  It came during an extremely difficult stretch of the meet, during which I swam 4 of 5 consecutive events.  The race went exactly as I had planned, which isn't a usual occurrence for me.  I was seeded 2nd to a fellow AGUA swimmer who has finished in the top 10 nationally for his age group, so I decided to hang on his hip and see if I could make a move at the 100 mark.  It worked to perfection.  At the 100, I turned the kick on and by the 125 I had blown past him.  From there I just kept pressing and finished in a meet best time of 1:55.81 (I was 27.54 at the 50, and 1:28.27 at the 150--no split at the 100)... This kept me individually at 3 for 3 golds -- the Phelpsian dream was alive!

100 Fly:  Aaaaaaaand this was where I came screeching back down to earth.  After riding high on that epic 200, I was physically exhausted, and only had about 4 minutes until my 100 fly.  I jumped into the warm-down lane, and, after a few laps jumped right back out and took my place on the blocks for the 100 Fly, still out of breath.  Never a good sign.  Crash and burn.  Upon reaching the first wall, I had a terrifying realization that I have literally never had before in my 12+ years of competitive swimming:  "Holy shit, I don't know if I can finish this race."

As I plodded back to the halfway point, I was very seriously considering stopping and scratching the rest of the event (something I've never done before).  I didn't want to look like a chump (probably too late, but oh well), so I kept on (I was 32.64 at the 50...ouch).  As I pushed off the wall at the 50, I looked down the pool and the rest of my heat was basically at the 75 already... Awesome.  Cue: me going into dolphin dive survival mode.  As I hit the 75 and turned for home, one thought and one thought only consumed my entire being:  "Do not drown in front of all these people you just recently met."

Somehow I managed to accomplish this task, and hit the wall in a blistering 1:17.64... Wow.  For all you math majors out there, that is a 45.00 2nd 50.  Good lord.  I've never bonked like that in swimming before and hope I never do again.  3 golds, 1....Finish.

100 Free:  This race was great, except for the fact tat it was about 10 minutes after my near-death experience and I still felt somewhere between fainting and vomiting.  I went 52.69 (out in 25.13) to take third in my age group, but to be honest at this point I was just happy to be finishing races.  The end was in sight.  I really did not feel like I was racing this swim.  It felt more like a strong 100 you would do in the middle of a practice.  On a sidenote, I don't think I've swum that slow in a 100 Free since my freshmen year of high school...

400 Free Relay:  I led off the 400 free relay in 54.23 (out in 25.80).  Again, nothing special in the least, but that's what I get for choosing 8 events in 3 hours...  In any case, our relay won our age group, helping me to finish individually with 3 Golds, a bronze, and a DFL*.  In the relays I took home 1 Gold and 2 Silver.

All in all, it was an awesome meet and really fun to get back into the swing of things.  Hopefully I'll be competing in some more in the near future.

Oh, and on another note, I met a guy who swam for Tufts back in the day who graduated in, get this... 1958!!!  We shared some laughs over the fact that despite our huge age difference, we still swam in the same crappy pool at good ole Tuftensis Universitatis.  There's nothing quite like Hamilton Pool.

'07 Onward and Upward!!!

This is it!!!

Alright ladies and gents, boys and girls, children of all ages... This is it! We sit here on the brink of greatness. In 1 hour 49 minutes I will embark on my first official test of my Mikechopian Road To Redemption, as I compete at the Asphalt Green Aquatic Center in 8 events!

Starting at 11 AM, I will hit the block running (or swimming) in pursuit of a Phelpsian 8 Gold Medals. And by gold medals I mean whatever they award for winning the 18-24 Men's Age Group... probably nothing.

The lineup (not in order of events):

50 Free
100 Free
200 Free
100 I.M.
100 Fly (Holla Patches, I'm comin' for you!)

200 Free Relay
400 Free Relay
200 Medley Relay

I've been up rockin' the Weekend Today show here since 4 AM, and I'm primed and ready to dominate '07 style. The only thing to fear is how blauchome I can be.

And on another note, I have the blessing of the legendary Bob Barker, who was on the show this morning! He is truly an amazing, down-to-earth guy, and I am riding high after meeting him (although not nearly as high as Mr. Brett Harris).

Chumps up, let's do this!!! LEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOYYYYYYYY JENKINSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

So, since we've already determined that most of the content of mikechop gets "borrowed" from other sources (sorry T.I.), I'm going to continue that trend by instituting "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" (sorry Sports Illustrated) on Fridays.

For the first winner of "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" we turn to Arizona State University.

Here's the story:

President Obama was invited to speak at Sun Devil Stadium for the Arizona State commencement ceremony on May 13, 2009.

However, there was one minor stipulation: ASU says it will not bestow an honorary degree to the President because, Sharon Keeler (ASU Media Relations Director) says, "President Obama's body of work is yet to come, it's inappropriate to recognize him at this time."

Can we just collectively pause for a minute and say, "WTF mate?!?!" I mean....... Seriously???

I think Eugene Robinson (Assistant Managing Editor for the Washington Post) put it well when he commented, "I mean, what can I say. One would think that being a twice published author, and a law professor, and President of the United States, by the way, might qualify you to get an honorary degree..." (Not to mention a state Senator as well. Illinois woooo!!)

Here is an excerpt from an editorial written about this story printed in the East Valley Tribune (a local paper near ASU) on April 9:

"Barry Goldwater received his honorary degree in May 1961, three years before his Republican nomination for president and only eight years into his three decades as a U.S. Senator. Sandra Day O'Connor was similarly recognized just three years in her 25 years on the U.S. Supreme Court... Obama almost certainly won't speak at another ASU graduation, and no one knows if anohter president ever will either. The university should reconsider this arbitrary decision and honor Obama in May."

All I have to say is this: Lance Armstrong...Barely graduated high school... Definitely qualified to receive an honorary degree from Tufts University.
Barack Obama...Harvard Law School graduate...U.S. State Senator...Best-Selling Author...First African-American President of the United States of America... Definitely NOT qualified to receive an honorary degree from Arizona State University.

Strong plan ASU... But it's false.

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... 3 Days Out

"Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day."

- Polish Proverb

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

(7:30-8:45 PM - Left early)

1.) Warmup:

     4 Times:

          150 Free Swim

          100 Stroke

2.)

6 x 50 (1:05) Kick

6 x 100 (1:30) Perfect Technique

6 x 50 (:50) Stroke

3.)

3 Times:

     4 x 75 (1:05) Build last 25 to Sprint

     2 x 25 (:30) 8 Second Sprint

4.)

4 x 50 (1:05) Kick

4 x 100 (1:30) Perfect Technique

4 x 50 (:50) Stroke

Daily Total:  4,050 Yards

Redemption Total:  43,400 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... 4 Days Out

"If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average."

- M.H. Alderson

Tuesday, April 7, 2010

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.) Warmup:

4 Times:

     150 Swim

     50 Stroke Drill

4 Times:

     50 Build

     50 Kick

2.)

12 x 75 @ 75% (Perfect technique)

     4 Times:

          2 Free (1:10)

          1 Stroke (1:20)

3.)

20 x 50

     4 Times:

          3 x 50 (:45) Build

          2 x 50 (1:00) Kick

Easy 300

Starts (6 Sprint 25's off blocks, then relay starts)

Daily Total:  3,550 Yards

Redemption Total:  39,350 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Keep on keepin' on

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important that any one thing."

- Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, April 2, 2009

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.)  Warmup:

5 Times:

     100 Swim

     50 Drill or Stroke

     50 Kick

2.)

15 x 50 (:50)

     First 5:  No breathing b/w flags and wall

     Second 5:  Perfect form

     Last 5:  Build

3.)

6 x 75 (1:30) Kick

4.)

6 x 150 (2:10) Easy at 70-75%     *I held 1:50's

5.)

8 x 50 (:50) Sprint 8 seconds off each wall

Easy 100

6.)

Starts and Relay Starts

Daily Total:  3,600 Yards

Redemption Total:  35,800 Yards

"Call me 'Smoke.'"

Joe Frazier is the Man.

OK, I've usually tried to avoid writing about work for a plethora of reasons... but I'm going to have to make an exception today.  Boxing Legend Joe Frazier came on Morning Joe this morning to promote his new documentary "Thrilla in Manila," which premieres on HBO on April 11.  It chronicles Frazier and Ali's third epic 15 round fight, famously known as the "Thrilla in Manila."  And guess who got to meet him???  You're like, 'WTF Mike, there's a picture right above this of you with Joe and his son Marvis..."

Let me just say this:  It. Was. AWESOME!!!!  I'll break it down for you...

So Joe, his current manager/agent, his son, and his old boxing manager come out of the elevator to a waiting and anxious Mikechop.  I introduce myself and shake everyone's hand, and when I get to Leslie (his old manager), he says, "My name's 'Les,' but you can call me 'Twinkletoes.'"  You probably had to be there for this one, but I definitely cracked up as he was on crutches with a huge knee brace on (apparently he fell the previous day/night and hurt his leg--not funny, but still funny that he could joke about it), and also, he was in his late 60's or 70's and the thought of this grizzled old boxing veteran manager calling himself "Twinkletoes" at 8:00 in the morning was almost too much to handle.

Joe, as you can tell from the picture, was pretty much decked out in a sick suit, black shirt and matching cowboy hat that you can only pull off if: a.) you were once the heavyweight champion of the world  b.) you took down the butterfly  c.) you wear a gold chain with the word "Smoke" hanging from it (amazing).  He also had a cane as his walking was pretty hampered, but he rocked it so hard.  (On a sidenote, when I walked them out to the elevators at the end, Joe picked up his cane for a moment and nimbly ran for about 10 feet to the elevator, which blew my mind and prompted me to remark, "Dang Smoke, you're ready to get in the ring later today!"  I felt really cool when I said this (seriously), so you can all hold back your cheap one-liners about me here...

So I get them all to the Green Room, and ask if anyone wants anything, etc.  When I come back with water, I say to Joe, "Hey Mr. Frazier I have to say--" at which point he cuts me off and says, "Call me 'Smoke'" and cracks a huge grin.  I nearly lost it.  I mean, how sick is that?!?!  I say, "OK Smoke, well I have to say I'm a huge fan of yours and I'm sure you hear that all the time, but I just wanted to tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you and my grandpa is a huge boxing fan and he wouldn't believe that I got to meet you."  He was incredibly nice and said thank you so much.  After I walked out of the room, his son Marvis (who was also a boxer) came out to catch me, handed me a signed little wallet sized picture of Joe and said, "Joe wanted you to have this."  AHHH!!!  So cool.

So then he did his segment smoothly and I have to say my favorite part came before the actual segment when he was talking to Courtney Hazlett and asked her if she had gotten a facelift.  Also up there would have to be his reaction when he met Mika...  Priceless.

As I walked them all out to the elevator I got up the courage to ask for a picture, and I couldn't be happier with how it came out.  It was absolutely incredible to meet my favorite boxer of all time and to see how nice a man he is.  This was surely a day I will never forget.  MikeCHOP!!!!

M.K. Achieves Redemption!!! APRIL FOOL'S!!!

"To be worn out is to be renewed."

- Lao-tzu

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

(7:30-8:30 PM - I left a little early.  Gotta get my beauty sleep.)

1.)  Warmup:

1,000 Continuous Swim

   Two Times:

     150 Swim

     100 Stroke Drill

     150 Swim

     100 Kick

2.)

24 x 25 (:30)

   4 Times:

     3 Build

     3 Descend

3.)

5 Times:

     200 (2:50) Long and easy

     4 x 25 (:40) FAST

200 Easy

Daily Total:  3,100 Yards

Redemption Total:  32,200 Yards

Other Notes:

     I'm going to be competing in a meet next weekend!!!  That's right, an actual competition!  No, you are not dreaming, it's really true.  I'm pretty pumped about it, all I need to do is pay the $38 Masters Registration Fee and I'll be entered into the meet by Patrick.  He said he'll have me swim some relays and some sprints and such.  A great moment was when Patrick said to me before practice, "Ok, so what else do you swim other than freestyle."  I quickly and proudly responded, "Breaststroke," which was then followed by a short awkward pause, when I realized that that is pretty much it...  I finally broke the pause by saying, "Well, I mean I can swim pretty much anything...  I just can't swim everything well."  Classic.

     Also, I met fellow NESCACian and sprinter Mike Pepi (Wesleyan, '08), who was swimming in my lane and just recently started training at Asphalt Green.  He will be a great person to train with and we got to reminisce a little about our NESCAC and Water Polo days.  Good stuff.