The Price Is Right -- Manhattan Racing Trials Meet Summary

"The water is your friend.  You don't have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move."

- Aleksandr Popov

That's right folks, the price was right for this young Mikechopper as he made his way back to the competitive waters once again this past Saturday, April 11, 2009.  Following a lay-off from competition that lasted over two years and brought with it a college graduation, a knee surgery, 4 moves (first West, then back East), and two separate Cubs playoff meltdowns, I jumped back into the water in pursuit of true redemption.

It was cold, dark, grey and rainy as I left work at the Weekend Today Show (where I'd been since 5 AM) and made my way over to the Asphalt Green Aquatic Complex for the 11:00 AM warm-ups.  The weather, however, couldn't dampen my spirits as I couldn't have been more thrilled and happy to be back in the chlorine where I belong.  Plus, I had the privilege and blessing of meeting the legendary Bob Barker just hour before, so I was riding high.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend...

But enough with all this pre-meet buildup, let's down down to brass tacks!

The meet:

Starting at 11:00 AM and finishing at 2:00 PM, I competed in 8 events (5 Individuals, 3 Relays).  I swam in events #1, 5, 7, 11, 12, 13, 15, and 18 -- The 200 Free Relay, 50 Free, 100 I.M., 200 Medley Relay, 200 Free, 100 Fly, 100 Free, and 400 Free Relay.  Full results can be found here.

Those of you who know me are probably saying either, "Wow, bold move" or "What an idiot!"  Both statements were probably appropriate...

200 Free Relay:  We started off the meet strong in the 200 Free Relay, taking 2nd in our division (18-24).  I felt fast, but definitely felt like I was spinning my wheels.  My breakout, turn and finish were not great, but I dove in after the guy next to me and finished ahead of him, so that was nice.  Unfortunately, we didn't get any of our relay splits throughout the meet because the timer wasn't functioning properly.

50 Free:  I felt good again in the 50 Free, going 22.11 to post the fastest time of the meet.  I definitely could've easily gone 21.9 or 21.8, but suffice it to say that there was still significant rust on the breakout and the turn.

100 I.M.:  This was a really fun event.  I went 59.47 (out in 28.19, back in 31.28) to win my division, but unfortunately was touched out for the fastest time of the meet by a guy in an older division in my heat (he went 59.30).  Again, not to beat a dead horse here, but my turns were pretty horrific so I feel like there is plenty of room for improvement there.

200 Medley Relay:  The rust finally came off and I really felt like I hit my breakout, turn and finish.  I split a 21.61 -- a time that certainly isn't incredible, but with which I'm pretty satisfied.  Our relay took 2nd in our age group.

200 Free:  My swim of the meet.  I literally could not have been happier with this race.  It came during an extremely difficult stretch of the meet, during which I swam 4 of 5 consecutive events.  The race went exactly as I had planned, which isn't a usual occurrence for me.  I was seeded 2nd to a fellow AGUA swimmer who has finished in the top 10 nationally for his age group, so I decided to hang on his hip and see if I could make a move at the 100 mark.  It worked to perfection.  At the 100, I turned the kick on and by the 125 I had blown past him.  From there I just kept pressing and finished in a meet best time of 1:55.81 (I was 27.54 at the 50, and 1:28.27 at the 150--no split at the 100)... This kept me individually at 3 for 3 golds -- the Phelpsian dream was alive!

100 Fly:  Aaaaaaaand this was where I came screeching back down to earth.  After riding high on that epic 200, I was physically exhausted, and only had about 4 minutes until my 100 fly.  I jumped into the warm-down lane, and, after a few laps jumped right back out and took my place on the blocks for the 100 Fly, still out of breath.  Never a good sign.  Crash and burn.  Upon reaching the first wall, I had a terrifying realization that I have literally never had before in my 12+ years of competitive swimming:  "Holy shit, I don't know if I can finish this race."

As I plodded back to the halfway point, I was very seriously considering stopping and scratching the rest of the event (something I've never done before).  I didn't want to look like a chump (probably too late, but oh well), so I kept on (I was 32.64 at the 50...ouch).  As I pushed off the wall at the 50, I looked down the pool and the rest of my heat was basically at the 75 already... Awesome.  Cue: me going into dolphin dive survival mode.  As I hit the 75 and turned for home, one thought and one thought only consumed my entire being:  "Do not drown in front of all these people you just recently met."

Somehow I managed to accomplish this task, and hit the wall in a blistering 1:17.64... Wow.  For all you math majors out there, that is a 45.00 2nd 50.  Good lord.  I've never bonked like that in swimming before and hope I never do again.  3 golds, 1....Finish.

100 Free:  This race was great, except for the fact tat it was about 10 minutes after my near-death experience and I still felt somewhere between fainting and vomiting.  I went 52.69 (out in 25.13) to take third in my age group, but to be honest at this point I was just happy to be finishing races.  The end was in sight.  I really did not feel like I was racing this swim.  It felt more like a strong 100 you would do in the middle of a practice.  On a sidenote, I don't think I've swum that slow in a 100 Free since my freshmen year of high school...

400 Free Relay:  I led off the 400 free relay in 54.23 (out in 25.80).  Again, nothing special in the least, but that's what I get for choosing 8 events in 3 hours...  In any case, our relay won our age group, helping me to finish individually with 3 Golds, a bronze, and a DFL*.  In the relays I took home 1 Gold and 2 Silver.

All in all, it was an awesome meet and really fun to get back into the swing of things.  Hopefully I'll be competing in some more in the near future.

Oh, and on another note, I met a guy who swam for Tufts back in the day who graduated in, get this... 1958!!!  We shared some laughs over the fact that despite our huge age difference, we still swam in the same crappy pool at good ole Tuftensis Universitatis.  There's nothing quite like Hamilton Pool.

'07 Onward and Upward!!!

This is it!!!

Alright ladies and gents, boys and girls, children of all ages... This is it! We sit here on the brink of greatness. In 1 hour 49 minutes I will embark on my first official test of my Mikechopian Road To Redemption, as I compete at the Asphalt Green Aquatic Center in 8 events!

Starting at 11 AM, I will hit the block running (or swimming) in pursuit of a Phelpsian 8 Gold Medals. And by gold medals I mean whatever they award for winning the 18-24 Men's Age Group... probably nothing.

The lineup (not in order of events):

50 Free
100 Free
200 Free
100 I.M.
100 Fly (Holla Patches, I'm comin' for you!)

200 Free Relay
400 Free Relay
200 Medley Relay

I've been up rockin' the Weekend Today show here since 4 AM, and I'm primed and ready to dominate '07 style. The only thing to fear is how blauchome I can be.

And on another note, I have the blessing of the legendary Bob Barker, who was on the show this morning! He is truly an amazing, down-to-earth guy, and I am riding high after meeting him (although not nearly as high as Mr. Brett Harris).

Chumps up, let's do this!!! LEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOYYYYYYYY JENKINSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

So, since we've already determined that most of the content of mikechop gets "borrowed" from other sources (sorry T.I.), I'm going to continue that trend by instituting "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" (sorry Sports Illustrated) on Fridays.

For the first winner of "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" we turn to Arizona State University.

Here's the story:

President Obama was invited to speak at Sun Devil Stadium for the Arizona State commencement ceremony on May 13, 2009.

However, there was one minor stipulation: ASU says it will not bestow an honorary degree to the President because, Sharon Keeler (ASU Media Relations Director) says, "President Obama's body of work is yet to come, it's inappropriate to recognize him at this time."

Can we just collectively pause for a minute and say, "WTF mate?!?!" I mean....... Seriously???

I think Eugene Robinson (Assistant Managing Editor for the Washington Post) put it well when he commented, "I mean, what can I say. One would think that being a twice published author, and a law professor, and President of the United States, by the way, might qualify you to get an honorary degree..." (Not to mention a state Senator as well. Illinois woooo!!)

Here is an excerpt from an editorial written about this story printed in the East Valley Tribune (a local paper near ASU) on April 9:

"Barry Goldwater received his honorary degree in May 1961, three years before his Republican nomination for president and only eight years into his three decades as a U.S. Senator. Sandra Day O'Connor was similarly recognized just three years in her 25 years on the U.S. Supreme Court... Obama almost certainly won't speak at another ASU graduation, and no one knows if anohter president ever will either. The university should reconsider this arbitrary decision and honor Obama in May."

All I have to say is this: Lance Armstrong...Barely graduated high school... Definitely qualified to receive an honorary degree from Tufts University.
Barack Obama...Harvard Law School graduate...U.S. State Senator...Best-Selling Author...First African-American President of the United States of America... Definitely NOT qualified to receive an honorary degree from Arizona State University.

Strong plan ASU... But it's false.

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... 3 Days Out

"Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day."

- Polish Proverb

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

(7:30-8:45 PM - Left early)

1.) Warmup:

     4 Times:

          150 Free Swim

          100 Stroke

2.)

6 x 50 (1:05) Kick

6 x 100 (1:30) Perfect Technique

6 x 50 (:50) Stroke

3.)

3 Times:

     4 x 75 (1:05) Build last 25 to Sprint

     2 x 25 (:30) 8 Second Sprint

4.)

4 x 50 (1:05) Kick

4 x 100 (1:30) Perfect Technique

4 x 50 (:50) Stroke

Daily Total:  4,050 Yards

Redemption Total:  43,400 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... 4 Days Out

"If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average."

- M.H. Alderson

Tuesday, April 7, 2010

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.) Warmup:

4 Times:

     150 Swim

     50 Stroke Drill

4 Times:

     50 Build

     50 Kick

2.)

12 x 75 @ 75% (Perfect technique)

     4 Times:

          2 Free (1:10)

          1 Stroke (1:20)

3.)

20 x 50

     4 Times:

          3 x 50 (:45) Build

          2 x 50 (1:00) Kick

Easy 300

Starts (6 Sprint 25's off blocks, then relay starts)

Daily Total:  3,550 Yards

Redemption Total:  39,350 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Keep on keepin' on

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important that any one thing."

- Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, April 2, 2009

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.)  Warmup:

5 Times:

     100 Swim

     50 Drill or Stroke

     50 Kick

2.)

15 x 50 (:50)

     First 5:  No breathing b/w flags and wall

     Second 5:  Perfect form

     Last 5:  Build

3.)

6 x 75 (1:30) Kick

4.)

6 x 150 (2:10) Easy at 70-75%     *I held 1:50's

5.)

8 x 50 (:50) Sprint 8 seconds off each wall

Easy 100

6.)

Starts and Relay Starts

Daily Total:  3,600 Yards

Redemption Total:  35,800 Yards

"Call me 'Smoke.'"

Joe Frazier is the Man.

OK, I've usually tried to avoid writing about work for a plethora of reasons... but I'm going to have to make an exception today.  Boxing Legend Joe Frazier came on Morning Joe this morning to promote his new documentary "Thrilla in Manila," which premieres on HBO on April 11.  It chronicles Frazier and Ali's third epic 15 round fight, famously known as the "Thrilla in Manila."  And guess who got to meet him???  You're like, 'WTF Mike, there's a picture right above this of you with Joe and his son Marvis..."

Let me just say this:  It. Was. AWESOME!!!!  I'll break it down for you...

So Joe, his current manager/agent, his son, and his old boxing manager come out of the elevator to a waiting and anxious Mikechop.  I introduce myself and shake everyone's hand, and when I get to Leslie (his old manager), he says, "My name's 'Les,' but you can call me 'Twinkletoes.'"  You probably had to be there for this one, but I definitely cracked up as he was on crutches with a huge knee brace on (apparently he fell the previous day/night and hurt his leg--not funny, but still funny that he could joke about it), and also, he was in his late 60's or 70's and the thought of this grizzled old boxing veteran manager calling himself "Twinkletoes" at 8:00 in the morning was almost too much to handle.

Joe, as you can tell from the picture, was pretty much decked out in a sick suit, black shirt and matching cowboy hat that you can only pull off if: a.) you were once the heavyweight champion of the world  b.) you took down the butterfly  c.) you wear a gold chain with the word "Smoke" hanging from it (amazing).  He also had a cane as his walking was pretty hampered, but he rocked it so hard.  (On a sidenote, when I walked them out to the elevators at the end, Joe picked up his cane for a moment and nimbly ran for about 10 feet to the elevator, which blew my mind and prompted me to remark, "Dang Smoke, you're ready to get in the ring later today!"  I felt really cool when I said this (seriously), so you can all hold back your cheap one-liners about me here...

So I get them all to the Green Room, and ask if anyone wants anything, etc.  When I come back with water, I say to Joe, "Hey Mr. Frazier I have to say--" at which point he cuts me off and says, "Call me 'Smoke'" and cracks a huge grin.  I nearly lost it.  I mean, how sick is that?!?!  I say, "OK Smoke, well I have to say I'm a huge fan of yours and I'm sure you hear that all the time, but I just wanted to tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you and my grandpa is a huge boxing fan and he wouldn't believe that I got to meet you."  He was incredibly nice and said thank you so much.  After I walked out of the room, his son Marvis (who was also a boxer) came out to catch me, handed me a signed little wallet sized picture of Joe and said, "Joe wanted you to have this."  AHHH!!!  So cool.

So then he did his segment smoothly and I have to say my favorite part came before the actual segment when he was talking to Courtney Hazlett and asked her if she had gotten a facelift.  Also up there would have to be his reaction when he met Mika...  Priceless.

As I walked them all out to the elevator I got up the courage to ask for a picture, and I couldn't be happier with how it came out.  It was absolutely incredible to meet my favorite boxer of all time and to see how nice a man he is.  This was surely a day I will never forget.  MikeCHOP!!!!

M.K. Achieves Redemption!!! APRIL FOOL'S!!!

"To be worn out is to be renewed."

- Lao-tzu

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

(7:30-8:30 PM - I left a little early.  Gotta get my beauty sleep.)

1.)  Warmup:

1,000 Continuous Swim

   Two Times:

     150 Swim

     100 Stroke Drill

     150 Swim

     100 Kick

2.)

24 x 25 (:30)

   4 Times:

     3 Build

     3 Descend

3.)

5 Times:

     200 (2:50) Long and easy

     4 x 25 (:40) FAST

200 Easy

Daily Total:  3,100 Yards

Redemption Total:  32,200 Yards

Other Notes:

     I'm going to be competing in a meet next weekend!!!  That's right, an actual competition!  No, you are not dreaming, it's really true.  I'm pretty pumped about it, all I need to do is pay the $38 Masters Registration Fee and I'll be entered into the meet by Patrick.  He said he'll have me swim some relays and some sprints and such.  A great moment was when Patrick said to me before practice, "Ok, so what else do you swim other than freestyle."  I quickly and proudly responded, "Breaststroke," which was then followed by a short awkward pause, when I realized that that is pretty much it...  I finally broke the pause by saying, "Well, I mean I can swim pretty much anything...  I just can't swim everything well."  Classic.

     Also, I met fellow NESCACian and sprinter Mike Pepi (Wesleyan, '08), who was swimming in my lane and just recently started training at Asphalt Green.  He will be a great person to train with and we got to reminisce a little about our NESCAC and Water Polo days.  Good stuff.

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Keep at it.

"Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll be able to see farther."

-  Thomas Carlyle

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

(7:30-8:45 PM - I left a little early)

1.)  Warmup:

1,000 Continuous Swim

     500 Every 4th 25 drill fly

     500 Every 4th 25 back

2.)

9 x 100 (1:35)

     3 Times:

          75 I.M., 25 Kick w/out a board

          2 x 75 Free, 25 Kick w/out a board

3.)

8 Times:

     3 x 50 (:50) Descend

     1 x 100 (1:30) FAST (Evens = Stroke or I.M., Odds = Free)

          *Did #'s 2 & 8 I.M. holding about 1:12, #'s 4 & 6 Back holding about 1:13.

          *Held :59-1:03 on the Free ones.

100 Easy

Daily Total:  4,000 Yards

Redemption Total:  29,100 Yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... (After a short hiatus)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

(7:30-9:00 PM)

*Back at it after some time off due to: really nice weather that I just couldn't pass up enjoying, working late, and starting a new assignment that requires me to wake up at 4 AM...

1.)  Warmup:

1,000 Continuous Swim

     150 swim, 100 drill (4 Times)

2.)

12 x 75 (1:25)

     first 6:          25 kick, 50 stroke

     second 6:     25 kick, 50 free

3.)

4 Times:

                    3 x 100 (1:25) strong     *Held 1:01's to 1:09's

                    2 x 75 (1:25) easy

4.)

8 x 100 (2:00)

   4 Times:

          50 kick, 25 fly, 25 back

          50 kick, 25 breast, 25 free

5.)

6 x 50 (1:00)

     25 fast, 25 easy

100 Easy

Daily Total:  4,900 yards

Redemption Total:  25,100 yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... Crackin' 20 g's

Monday, March 17, 2009

(7:30-8:30 PM)

*I was late because of work, so I missed some of the workout.  Here's what I made it for:

1.)  Warmup:

500 Swim

2.)

3 Times:

                    4 x 75 (1:10) descend (descended to :48)

                    4 x 25 (:30) 10 second sprints

*Held :48's on the last 75's of each set.

3.)

Continuous Swim:

2 x 100 I.M. Drill

4.)

3 Times:

2 x 50 (:45) Freestyle swim

2 x 25 (:30) Back down, Breast back

100 Easy

Daily Total:  2,450 yards

Redemption Total:  20,200 yards

M.K.'s Road To Redemption...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.)  Warmup (Continuous Swim):

500 Swim

300 Stroke Drill

4 x 50 Build

2.)

9 x 100 (1:55)

          50 kick

          25 fly/back/breast (repeat 3X)

          25 free

3.)

3 Times:

                    3 x 150  (2:05) strong

                    3 x 50  (:55) hypoxic - 5 breaths at most per 50

Easy 100

4.)

3 Times:

                    3 x 50 (:50) fly/free, back/free, breast/free

                    1 x 100 I.M.  (1:40)

5.)

6 x 50 (:50)

first 3 - first 25 fast stroke (back), 2nd 25 easy

last 3 - first 25 fast free, 2nd 25 easy

100 easy

Daily Total:  4,950 yards

Redemption Total:  17,750 yards

"I think I learned how to kick..."

M.K.'s Road To Redemption...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

(7:30-9:00 PM)

1.)  Warmup (Continuous Swim):

600 Swim (150 swim, 50 drill stroke)

400 Swim (75 swim, 25 kick no board)

2.)

9 x 100 (1:35)

     -3 perfect technique

     -3 build

     -3 descend

3.)

3 x 200 (2:50) Free

3 x 200 (1:40) I.M.

2 x 200 (2:50) Free

2 x 100 (1:40) I.M.

1 x 200 (2:50) Free

1 x 100 (1:40) I.M.

100 easy

*Held 2:28ish on the 200's and 1:22ish on the 100's.

4.)

8 x 125 (2:00)

     -75 kick on back

     -50 swim (I.M. order --> #1 fly, #2 back etc.)

5.)

4 x 50 (:45) easy

Daily Total:  5,000 yards

Redemption Total:  12,800 yards

Epilogue:

     Well, it only took me 24 years, 10 months, and 3 days to be able to utter the words "I think I learned how to kick."  I guess that makes sense seeing as how I didn't "learn how to swim" til my last collegiate race.  But, as I love to say, better late than never, right??

     What an amazing feeling!!!  Kicking along in the 8 x 125's it just clicked.  It was one of the weirdest and coolest experiences I've ever had in a pool.  Hopefully I'm not getting too excited over nothing (entirely possible), but I really think I might have actually learned how to kick tonite.  I'll try to explain, but it probably won't make any sense.

     My theory is this:  For some reason I've always kicked using my whole leg.  It's hard to explain, but imagine lying on your back on land and making the kicking motion by basically keeping your entire leg straight.  I have no idea why I did this for so long.  The only explanation I can think of is that it somehow got ingrained as a habit from my freshmen year of high school when we did dryland training in the gym and did that exercise (we called it 'backstroke kick') as an ab/leg exercise...

     When Bettly, Poppa B, and I went swimming over NESCAC weekend at the legendary Westminster pool, Bettly tried in vain to give me some kicking advice, as I'm sure he's done tens if not hundreds of times before.  He said, quite simply, "Kick from your knee and keep your ankles loose."  Such a simple thought.  However, I could never grasp this...  Until tonite!  The key for me is in the "kick from your knee" portion of the advice.  Instead of using your entire leg, you generate your kick entirely from your knee.  Revolutionary!!!  I think I've struck gold.

     I was seriously on cloud nine as I finished up practice.  I swam along kicking up a storm, which anyone who has ever swum with me knows is not standard operating procedure for me.  Great stuff.  Or, as we used to say at Tuftensis, "It's a GREAT DAMN DAY!!!"

Live it, love it, chop it.

Epilogue Part II:

     I almost forgot, another little gem of practice came after the 9 x 100's, when our Coach Patrick made everyone listen up for an announcement, which went something like this:  "Okay everyone, listen up...  I have to tell you guys this...  There have been a lot of muggings lately in the areas outside the pool between here and 2nd Avenue.  This is what happens in a recession.  It's like, 'Welcome back to the '80's!!'  So with that in mind, be very careful and try to stick to main streets and stay alert."  Wow.  Good thing I don't have much to get mugged for...

M.K.'s Road To Redemption...

Monday, March 9, 2009

(7:30-8:30 PM)

1.)  Warmup (Continuous Swim):

200 swim

200 drill

200 kick

200 swim

2.)

Continuous:

5 x 100 (1:25) Build

4 x 25 (:30) kick

4 x 100 (1:25) Descend 1-4

4 x 25 (:30) fly

3 x 100 (1:25) distance per stroke

4 x 25 (:30) back

2 x 100 (1:25) fast

4 x 25 (:30) breast

100 easy

3.)

4 times:

                    25 kick (:30)

                    50 swim (:50)

                    25 no breath (:30)

Daily Total:  3,100 yards

Redemption Total:  7,800 yards

The Most Terrifying Item of the Day

OK, so ever since 1984 and the original release of "The Terminator," we've all known that we're all eventually doomed to be p'owned like noobs by machines.  But this story really confirms it:

Holy crap!!!

Anyway, when skynet becomes self-aware, I call dibs on being John Connor.

A Really Weird (and sad) News Story

Riding on the train to work today I was perusing the Metro newspaper, mainly because it's free and distracts me for the 10 minutes I'm on the 6 line, and I came across a news story that was pretty messed up.  It's really sad, but also really interesting.

Ex-Wrestler Body Slams Fellow Senior Citizen

Basically, retired pro-Wrestler Verne Gagne is believed to have bodyslammed a 97-year-old fellow nursing home patient, which eventually resulted in the man's death.  The body slam broke the other man's hip, and he died three weeks after the incident.

Verne Gagne suffers from Alzheimer's disease, and it's believed that he has lost most of his short-term memory, while his recollection of events long ago remains vivid.  Authorities speculate that he was experiencing a flashback to his wrestling days, but it's almost impossible to verify.

The widow of the man who died as a result says she doesn't blame Mr. Gagne for her husband's death and believes he had no idea what he was doing.

Alzheimer's disease scares me for many obvious reasons, but this kind of just adds to the list...  I'm actually kind of surprised that you don't hear more often about people with the disease causing more harm to others, but I guess it's probably because, as the article states, "Most Alzheimer's victims are old and frail, and when they lash out they do not usually cause much harm."

In any case, it's a very, very sad story, but is really interesting.  I hope both families involved recover and never have to go through something like this again.

M.K.'s Road To Redemption hits a couple speed bumps... (March 4-5, 2009)

Unfortunately, M.K.'s Road To Redemption has slowed a little in the past couple days, due to some extenuating circumstances.  By extenuating circumstances I mean that I've felt like garbage since I woke up on Wednesday morning.  So, as a result, I didn't swim on Wednesday nite.  And, even if I had wanted to or felt up to swimming today (Thursday), I wouldn't have been able to because I didn't get off work til 7:00 PM anyway.  So that was out of the question.

Let's all just keep our fingers crossed for a triumphant return to glory tomorrow...  Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

The Best Item of the Day

This one comes courtesy of Mr. Adam Chu (RIP his blog):

Hilarious Picture Telephone Website

I think the best one is "Unsuspecting bird is about to get tentacle raped." hahahhaahhaa

Live it, love it, chop it.

Happy Thursday everyone.

I want one!!!

Many thanks to the Tilozoid for this little gem:

Awesome Dolphin Swim Fin Thingy

How sweet would it be to swim with one of those.  Granted, my kick sucks donkey balls, so it probably wouldn't matter anyway, but still...  

I think the coolest part is when they talk about "hydrotouring," which is essentially 'swim-camping.'  Swimming tens of miles each day with a little waterproof backpack containing a GPS, satellite phone, and a little food and water for a few nights--I mean, how flippin' sick does that sound?!?!?  I think that would be sooooo cool.  I guess I'll just file that under things to do when not gainfully employed or something...  Right next to hiking the Appalachian Trail...  Someday, someday...

***Just in case you're wondering why there's a random picture of me posted here from freshmen year trying to imitate the mini-shark vacuum cleaner, it's because I wanted to show everyone what would happen if you wear this new dolphin fin contraption and then slowly morph into some sort of marine animal...like a shark.  (Note how my hair is spiked into a shark fin....Brilliant call on that one Adam and Deeg..)

M.K.'s Road To Redemption Begins...

It all started on Tuesday, March 3, 2009...

1.)

Warmup:

400 (every 4th lap fly drill)

300 (every 4th lap back)

200 (every 4th lap breast)

100 Build

2.)

Extended Warmup:

8x100 (1:55) 50 kick, 50 distance-per-stroke

3.)

4 times:

                    2 x 150 (2:15) free

                    2 x 100(1:45) I.M.

1st time - Easy

2nd time - build each 150, each 25 of each 100

3rd time - 2nd 150 and 2nd 100 fast

4th time - all fast

4.)

4 times:

                    2 x 50 (1:10) kick

                    2 x 50 (:50) swim with overkick

5.)

100 easy

Total:  4,700 yards

My National Television Debut!!!

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, children of all ages...

I know we all never thought we could top a day like Mikechop-pendance day, but incredibly, we have somehow managed to accomplish the unthinkable...

For anyone who lives in a cave, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon (those are supposed to be the colors of the NBC peacock...) premiered on the National Broadcasting Corporation this past Monday, March 2 to the best ratings in that timeslot for 3 years!!!!

Click here to watch it on hulu!!!  FYI, my cameo is right around 13:10, since I'm sure that's all anyone would be interested in watching.

You all know what that means, right???

It means millions upon millions of people saw my Network TV Debut!!!!!  I rocked the screen to countless millions of drooling mikechop fans as I guided down the first ever contestant of the prestigious "Lick it for 10" competition!!!  If that doesn't leave you saying, "WOW!", then I am ashamed to say I know you...

Plus, in the infamous words of B-Monga:  "Brotha! Totally tore up that walk last night! That dude would have gotten totally lost... Leadership of a legend!!!"

So there you have it folks.  If you ever need the leadership of a legend, just come to mikechop.blogspot.com!!!!

SLAP CHOPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAA!!!

OK PEOPLE. This is a huge moment in history for mikechop.blogspot!!!!!

This is the day when we announce to the world, in one united voice, WE ARE MIKE CHOP. And should we win this day, the 24th of February will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!! We're going to live on!!! We're going to survive!!! Today we celebrate our MIKECHOP-PENDENCE DAY!!!

Now, the reason for all this hoopla can be found in the following link:

https://www.slapchop.com/ver11/index.asp

Yes, that's right... slap chop. How friggin awesome is that?!?!? AND it's the sham wow guy! Can life get any better? I submit that it canNOT!!

So hold your heads high young mikechopians. For today is a glorious day for us all. The blawshocity of mikechop is rapidly spreading thoughout the land. Live it. Love it. Mikechop it.

And don't forget to throw ya licahs up.

Scary Stuff

I just saw this story on MSNBC, and it's pretty crazy:

Nuclear Subs Collide

I mean, if you're rollin' around in a submarine, the thought of crashing into anything is downright terrifying. But crashing into something... WHILE carrying NUCLEAR WEAPONS?!?!?!?!? NOT a good idea. I mean, if you have nuclear missiles on board anything, let alone a vessel that travels in the deep, dark, depths of the ocean, you probably shouldn't be just cruising around with no clue as to what else is in the vicinity. Sh'mon now people. Be serious.

The Rot

When you look up "the rot" on merriam-webster.com, you see the following entry:

Main Entry:

¹rot 

Pronunciation:

\ˈrät\

Function:

verb

Inflected Form(s):

rot·ted; rot·ting

Etymology:

Middle English roten, from Old English rotian; akin to Old High German rōzzēn to rot

Date:

before 12th century

intransitive verb1 a: to undergo decomposition from the action of bacteria or fungi b: to become unsound or weak (as from use or chemical action)2 a: to go to ruin : deteriorate b: to become morally corrupt : degeneratetransitive verb: to cause to decompose or deteriorate with or as if with rot

synonyms see decay

Since I had today off, and I really haven't been able to muster the motivation to get to the gym lately for whatever reason, I just went for a run.  I needed it badly.

In running, and in my post-run thoughts, a few things occurred to me.  The first realization came during the run when I felt some of the first glimpses I have ever felt of getting older.  Adam's response to this was, "You're lucky it's your first," and I guess he's right.  I know this may sound ridiculous since I'm 24, but bear with me here.  My ankles were hurting.  The place where I had the surgery in my knee was feeling weak.  And even though these might seem like small, nit-picky things, it really kinda killed me because it sort of forces you to realize that you're not immortal.  Not that I ever had any delusions about my mortality (as Adam remarked, "What, immortal like Drago?  Like Jafar from Aladdin??"), but I believe that you feel more empowered in all aspects of life when you're in good shape.  It just translates into a more positive mindset and more positive actions.

After having been a serious athlete for pretty much my entire life, I'm finding the fall from that level of competition and training a little bewildering.  Even last year when I wasn't technically on a team anymore (I was a ski instructor), I was extremely active skiing everyday and going to the gym.  I always felt like I was in phenomenal shape.

Things have changed a bit now.  I am not nearly as active.  I spend a lot of time doing what I'm doing right now, sitting in front of a screen.  Giving tours.  Answering phones.  Walking around Manhattan.  I guess that's what comes with having a "real job."

Another realization I came to from going on this run was that it's cold outside.  It's really cold.  It is holyshitfuck cold.  Now if you're thinking, "You don't need to go on a run to figure something like that out." you would be right.  But, as we all know, I am not very smart.  Really not the brightest crayon in the box here..  And so, in order for me to figure that out, I did the logical thing and went on a really long run.  Brilliant.

Cheers.

"We do not HATE anyone... We DISLIKE them INTENSELY."

So let me preface this post by saying this:  If you know me, you know that I am not a very hateful person.  I do not hold much hate in my heart.  I'm a lover, not a fighter.  I've found that it takes way more energy to get mad at someone or to hold a grudge than it does to just let bygones be bygones.  Besides, as my mom and grandmother always told me, "We do not hate anyone, we dislike them intensely."

With that being said, let me be absolutely clear about one thing:  This post is going to be all about hate.  It's going to be about how it seems like since sometime in 2002, almost every single major team sporting event has been won by a team that I hate (see: St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago White Sox, Florida Marlins, New England Patriots), or by a team who's fans I can't stand (see: "Red Sox Nation"--doesn't it just make you want to punch someone when you call them that??!?, or any idiot waving a "Terrible Towel" around, or pretty much anyone from Philadelphia... You know who you are, and you know you're a dick-head when it comes to cheering for your team.)

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize right now to all those friends of mine who are Celtics, Patriots, Red Sox, White Sox, and Red Sox fans right now, but you know that everything I'm about to say is 100% true (Please keep reading my blog!!!).  Most of you guys obviously aren't like your fellow fans, but you're in the minority, so there.

Also, don't go thinking I'm completely disillusioned here.  I'm well aware of the reputation many a Cubs fan has given to the rest of the fan-base and to the franchise.  In terms of crappy fans, there's probably not much worse than the drunken college frat-boy sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley making an ass of himself throwing trash down onto the field or doing the wave...

But now that that's out of the way, watching an insanely interesting Super Bowl play out for the 2nd year in a row last nite (I guess at least we can all be thankful that it was a good game and not a blowout), all I could think was, "Have the Gods of Team Sports united against me to make as many of the teams that I 'dislike intensely' win major titles in their respective sports???"  Somewhere, somehow, I know they were all getting a kick out of this.

I mean, it's actually getting a little absurd.  I need to start betting extremely large sums of money on all the teams I hate to win whenever they make it to the biggest games of the year.  It's basically the exact opposite of the Bill Simmons article from the July 1, 2008 issue of ESPN the magazine, in which he explains that he has nowhere to go but down after the ridiculously improbable and amazingly inspiring events that led to all three of his favorite teams winning championships:

"But at the same time, my favorite football team won its first Super

Bowl as a 14-point underdog on the game's final play.  My favorite

baseball team rallied from three-zip to topple its lifelong bully before

eventually winning its first World Series since 1918.  And my favorite

basketball team rose from the dead to clinch its first title in 22 years

by beating the heated Lakers by 39 in Boston.  All three events were

like Bob Beamon's famous long jump to me: abnormally incredible

experiences that couldn't possibly be topped."

But just so you don't think I'm making all this up, let's take a look at who's won the World Series since 2003:

2003 - Florida Marlins  (I know, I know... Who cares about the Marlins?  Normally I wouldn't, but when they knock the Cubs out of the playoffs like that, how can you not hate them?!)

2004 - Boston Red Sox  (I'm sorry, but a team and its fans become eminently hatable when, after being your brothers in suffering for 80+ years, they immediately turn on you and make fun of you as if they had never been in the same position.)

2005 - Chicago White Sox  (There is no explanation needed here.)

2006 - St. Louis Cardinals  (NL Central rivals.  And they're the Yankees of the NL, having won 10 World Series since the NL and the AL merged.)

2007 - Boston Red Sox  (Again?  Really???)

2008 - Philadelphia Phillies  (My buddy Wolfy will back me up on Philadelphia fans being some of the meanest and least classy fans in all of baseball.  Where else but Philly do you get pizza thrown on you for standing up and politely cheering a Cubs run scored?  Oh yea, probably at the Cell...)

If that streak of six consecutive World Series champions isn't enough to convince you that the Sports Gods are messing with me, how about this list of Super Bowl Champions:

2002 - New England Patriots  (I really don't have enough time or room here to explain my utter hatred for the Pats...  Anyone from the 30 Pack should be steeped in this knowledge.)

2004 - New England Patriots

2005 - New England Patriots  (Boston does this thing where their sports teams repeatedly piss me off, in case you didn't notice.)

2006 - Pittsburgh Steelers  (In all fairness, I don't hate the Steelers too much, but the "Terrible Towel" thing is pretty annoying, and one can only assume that since Pittsburgh is in the same state as Philadelphia, their fans as just as duschy as Philly fans...)

2007 - Nothing against Indy, but they beat the Bears, which sucks for me.  Damn you Sports Gods.  Check that, I should probably just be mad at them for cursing the Bears with Rex...

2008 - Finally an outlier!!!  Thank you Giants for ruining the stupid Patriots' nearly perfect season.  I literally would have NEVER heard the end of that.

2009 - Pittsburgh Steelers

I mean, seriously, WTF?!?!?!

And finally, the icing on the cake... The NBA Finals.  You would think that being a Bulls fan I wouldn't have too much to be unhappy about.  I mean, 6 titles has to tide you over for quite some time, right?  Yes, it most certainly does.  But, of course, the stoooopid Celtics had to go and ruin that in 2007-2008 by beating the Lakers and bringing out all those annoying Celtics fans...  Ugh.

I guess I'll just have to turn to individual sports as my sanctuary.  I mean, I tried to think of successful athletes that compete individually that I hate, and I came up empty.  Michael Phelps, I got nothing against you.  Keep on doing your thing.  In fact, I'll even go so far as to say it doesn't bother me that a picture of you hitting the bong just surfaced in a British tabloid.  I'd say 14 gold medals earns you the right to have a little fun.  And if it doesn't, then the tens of millions of dollars you've earned does.

Tiger Woods, how could I ever be mad at you?  You're the Michael Jordan of golf, continually redefining the impossible and dominating your sport like almost no one before you.

Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer?  You guys are great to watch battle it out, and even though it irks me when you wear those stupid capri pants Raf, I guess I can let it slide since you seem pretty cool otherwise.

Usain Bolt, no worries mon, it's all good mon.  Ok, that was truly awful, but what did you really expect from mikechop.blogspot.com?

Bode Miller?  Speaking of hitting the bong...  But seriously, Bode is the man--how can you not like him?!?!  Dood works hard, plays even harder, and flies down ridiculous steeps at 80+ mph with a reckless abandon.  And all that has won him.... a Barilla sponsorship.  Noodles, wooo!!!

So I guess that solves it, I just need to stick to the individual sports.

Or I guess I could always start watching the NHL...  

HA!  That's a good one.

It's MIMIC Time Baby!!!

Alright folks, I know what you're all thinking:  "It's Monday, and thank God because I need some MIMIC's!!!!!!!"  Actually, probably not at all, and by probably I mean definitely, but still, mikechop has gotta truck on and continue to strive for blawshome status.  Or, as the wise Bettly has said on many an occasion: "Onward, and upward!!!!"

The first Mimic might seem a little random at first, but don't be scared and go ahead and give it a chance.  It can pretty much be summed up in one little hyphenated word:  Mimi-siku.

How glorious was that clip right thurr??  I mean, other than the fact that he was so scantily clad that it was kinda awkward at times (especially when he's sitting on top of the Statue of Liberty), it really is a great throwback to a terrible movie (what???).  Plus, "Mimi-siku" is so fun to say.  Just try it a few times and tell me it's not catchy and amazing.  I double dog dare you.

Mimic numero deux is comin at ya courtesy of one Jeffrey Vander-krizzle.  I say courtesy of the big man because he was the one responsible for yoinking the January 22 issue of RollingStone magazine from 30 Rock that contained the article I ended up reading and now posting for you all to feast your eyes on.  A link to the article by Sabrina Rubin Erdely is here.

The article chronicles the story surrounding a Hammonton, New Jersey High School student (Jason Eickmeyer) and his relationship with one of the school's Gym teachers (26-year-old Traci Tapp).  It began when he was just 15, continued throughout his time in high school, and by his own admission, really messed him up.

Erdely points out how this story is representative of a greater trend that we are increasingly seeing in the news and police blotters:

"In the span of a single week last year, three female teachers were arrested for sleeping with male students - and that was just in Tampa, Florida... Those arrests stole the spotlight from married English teacher Jennifer Mally, 26, who that same week pleaded guilty in Arizona for her affair with a 16-year-old, often conducted in the back of her Nissan Xterra.  Two months earlier, Rebecca Bogard, a 27-year-old science teacher in Mississippi, allegedly seduced a 15-year-old in her Jaquar with plates that read GRRRRR... Scadalous as those cases were, they were followed by more arrests - notably that of Julie Pritchett, 34, a teacher in Alabama accused of seducing eight members of the high school baseball team."

On a quick sidenote, how fitting is it that it was in an Xterra and that the license plate read grrrrr????  Also, EIGHT players??!!?!?!?!

Mimic number 3 is all thanks to Wolfy, who sent along this hilarious LOST video.  If you are a fan of the show, you will love it.  If you've never seen the show, then you're an idiot.

Watching this video with the guy's repeated desperate calls to his friend ("Dude, was that a dinosaur?!?!?!  What is it?!?!  Four seasons later you don't know?!?"  "What's in the hatch?!"  "They took Walt!?!?" and on and on) was absolutely classic and reminiscent of my LOST viewing experiences.  While becoming slightly more exasperated each time, his friend tries to remain patient, echoing, "Just watch."  There was really nothing quite like annoying the hell out of Wolfy as Phil and I trucked through 3 seasons of LOST with him and asked him most/all of these same questions.  "They've GOTTA be in purgatory!!!!"  Great find there Wolfy.

Mimic number 4 is the song "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers.  I know you're probably thinking that doesn't make sense, but listen to it 2 or 10 times and you'll start to feel me on this one.  You can also watch the awesome Nike commercial with this song here.

You know what, now that I'm taking it there, Mimic number 4 is going to be expanded to include a playlist consisting solely of the following songs on repeat, until you lose your mind (just like me):

1.  "All These Things That I've Done"  -  The Killers

2.  "Long Division"  -  Death Cab For Cutie

3.  The theme song from LOST, aka "Life and Death" as heard here: LOST theme

4.  "Trust Me"  -  The Fray

5.  The theme from the movie Dragonheart, as heard here

and finally...

6.  "All Your Base Are Belong To Us"

Ok get after it. Live it, love it, chop it.  Cheers.

Monday's Insane Most Interesting Chops

I'm hoping to start a few weekly topics here on "Whatever You Like."  So, with that in mind, I'm going to go ahead and kick it off with a little subject entitled: "Monday's Insane Most Interesting Chops," or "Mimic's" for short.  In my opinion, it's pretty self-explanatory, but just in case you're not following me, it will include random tidbits I come across or that are sent to me that I deem worthy of viewing by all my loyal followers (or by my not-so-loyal followers... you know who you are).

The first Mimic came to me via email from Moms.  It deals with an experiment conducted by Washington Post writer Gene Weingarten in which he explores how one's environment changes people's perception of quality.  More specifically, "he enlisted renowned violinist Joshua Bell, a winner of the Avery Fisher Prize for outstanding achievement in classical music who regularly undertakes over 200 international engagements a year, to spend part of a morning playing incognito at the entrance to a Washington Metro station during a morning rush hour."

I bet you're thinking, "Wow, that's a pretty interesting idea!  I wonder what happened..."  Well, that's why this is my first Mimic ever!  

Well I'll tell you what happened.  Joshua Bell played six classical pieces for about 45 minutes on his 1713 Stradivarius violin (which only cost him a mere $3.5 million...), earning $32.17 from 27 of the 1,097 people who passed by.  Seven people stopped to listen.  One of them recognized Mr. Bell.

Now, sad as this may be, I'll admit that my first reaction after reading this story was, "Whoa!  $32.17 in only 45 minutes is pretty damn good for a street performer!"  I guess this speaks to my current economic situation.  However, I will say that part of my amazement was that, even though he is one of the best violinists in the world, when I began reading about this experiment I originally thought he probably wouldn't earn much of anything.  When I'm on my way to work I usually have my headphones on, and I'll admit that I don't usually enjoy the garbage that most subway "musicians" have blaring from their speakers.  Add to that the fact that probably 25-50% of the time it's a touch-and-go situation and I don't have time to dilly dally and soak up the ambience of the subway and its musicians, regardless of how good or bad they might be.  How sad is it that I would most likely pass up or barely pause to watch a great performer if it meant I was going to be late for an NBC studio tour???  Geeeeeeez....  I mean, that is just downright wrong, in addition to being sad.

So, to conclude this Mimic, I think the important thing to think about is this:  What's really important in life?  Being 10 minutes late to another day at the office, or enjoying something beautiful that you might not get another chance to see and appreciate?  Obviously there's a balance here as there is with anything in life, but I hope that in the future I don't get too caught up in my own daily troubles, worries and work to appreciate the little things in life.

The second Mimic was sent along to me from Patches, and while I have no idea if it's true, I found it hilarious and at least worthy of a quick read.  It's an Amazon book review of the book "The Promise."  I don't want to ruin the surprise, so check it out here.

How great is that??  And the comments are priceless...

"Does every copy of the book come with a free 'xxxx'?"

"Every book you get in prison does."

Alright, I realize these Mimics might have been a little lacking, but don't worry, there's nowhere to go but up.  I'm just setting myself up for success by making your giving you low expectations for each weekly Mimic post.  Cheers everybody.

Gettin' Back on that Horse

Alright, if you read my blog, you've probably noticed that it has sucked lately.  It's hard not to suck when you don't write anything.  Well, with this post I'm triumphantly announcing "I'm Back" to the blogging world, just like Jordan did to the NBA back in the day.  Now all I need to do is win a few titles to bring some serious legitimacy to this announcement...

And besides, I've written out a list of New Year's Resolutions (which I've actually never done before), and writing on my blog more is one of them.  (Check.)  So I guess in addition to being quite cathartic, this post is also helping me achieve a goal.  Wooooo!!!!

I had today off, so instead of it being a "case of the Monday's" it was a "case of the sleep in and then walk around New York's."

I took this opportunity to go explore Chinatown.  Except for one minor detail... I didn't actually end up doing that.  Funny how plans can change suddenly--When I got off the train at the City Hall/Brooklyn Bridge stop I decided I wanted to take a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Although extremely touristy and fairly cliche (I don't know how to make my computer make that little symbol above the 'e', so get over it), this was a worthwhile journey.  I enjoyed walking along with the cold air in my face, hood up and music on (although not quite the same as having the top down and screaming out money in the bank, I still probably looked pretty sweet).  The view of the city wasn't spectacular, but it was still pretty cool since I was there as the sun was going down, so I got to see most of the buildings light up and fireworks go off in the night sky.*

Lots of other stuff has happened since my last post, so here are a few events worth taking note of:

1.  I was lucky enough to get home for a few days at Christmas and see my family and some great friends.  Although it was way too short of a trip (having to travel back to New York on Christmas Day kinda sucked), it was still really fun and awesome to see everyone.

2.  Going hand in hand with this, we had an HC Swim Reunion that was pretty well attended at George's house (Josh, I can't believe you blew us off!  Sh'mon now.).  It was amazing to see Skyler, Dave, Jarred, Ryan, Paul, Bobo, Stephan, J.D., Katie, Patty-O, Jeff, Nili and not George and to catch up with everybody and see what they're all up to.  It was especially cool to see Mr. Ryan Johnson and Mr. Jarred Caldwell, as it had been extremely long since we last hung out and Ryan now lives in Cambodia.

3.  I guess going hand in hand with #'s 1 and 2, I went to Molly's Debutante Ball while home.  As much as I don't want any guys to ever look at her I must say she looked lovely and we had a blast dancing like idiots.

4.  2008 Ended.

5.  2009 Began.

6.  MC Leezy and DJ Steez Choppa spit mad rhymes on multiple occasions and it was blawshome.  "3C, 6A, 8H!!!"  "You can en-vy me!! I work at N-B-C!!!"

7.  Saw Seven Pounds.  3/5 stars

8.  Saw Marley and Me.  3.5/5 stars

9.  Saw The Wrestler.  4.5/5 stars

10.  Saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  4/5 stars  "Seven..."

11.  I received a mini chopper (Choppaaaa 4!!!!!!) for Christmas and flew it around my apartment!!!

12.  I finished my first assignment.  Woot!  (Corp Comm I miss thee!  Except I don't miss getting up at 4:30 in the AM.)

13.  I got denied from my first assignments.  The Agency and Morning Joe, I will try again next time.

14.  I gave one of the best tours of my Page career on December 31, despite nearly blowing chunks in makeup.

Welp, that's all I can think of for now, although I know I'm leaving some stuff out.  I've been debating writing reviews for all those movies, but I've been jaded on the blogging...  But who knows now, maybe I will post those in the near future.  Keep yo eyes peeled and yo ear to the grindstone!  Cheers.

*  There were no fireworks.  I just put that in to see if anyone was reading/to jazz it up a little.