Rome Rome Rome Rome

Enjoy...

Musings of an anxious Insomniac

What happens when you wake up at 2:30 in the morning craving a turkey sandwich with swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mustard on slightly toasted 7-grain bread?

Normally, you go into the kitchen and knock it out. If you're me, you lie in bed hoping to fall back asleep until you come to terms with the fact that that's not going to happen anytime soon. So you roll out of bed and head into the kitchen for that sandwich, right? No. You don't. Because there is no turkey or swiss cheese in there. Is the store open at 3 am?? Probably not... So, if you're me, you putz around wasting time on your computer until you're so tired your body has no choice but to pass out from sheer exhaustion. Great success!! (Sorry, I just saw Borat for the first time yesterday.)

Insomniac Activity Checklist (bonus game: see if you can follow the strange meanderings of my mind...) :

-Fantasy baseball and football lineups updated and ready for the coming days? Done.

-Scrutinized every single player available on the free agent waiver wire? Yep.

-Read the NFL and College football recaps for the weekend? Check.

-Wondered what the hell ESPN will do if Tim Tebow is forced to spend any significant portion of time out of action due to his concussion? Check.

-Searched for jobs on TVjobs.com? Check.

-Figured out how you're supposed to get all this experience they want you to have for these jobs if you have to have the experience to get the job to get the experience??? Nope.

-Thought about applying to jobs in Chicago, Iowa, Idaho, Florida, Arkansas, New York, Decatur, Philadelphia, and Miami? Yep.

-Considered a career change? YES.

-Pulled up nytimes.com in a weak attempt to be "intellectual"? Check.

-Looked at it for a half a second and then did a youtube search for "Ernie Anastos" and "funny falls"? Absolutely.

-Bothered Rob Kebob while he was actually at work trying to be productive like a normal person? Yeppers.

-Thought about how ridiculous this blog post is? Yeshhh.

-Realized it's about par for the course on mikechop dot blogspot dot com?

Oy...

Some days you eat the bar...

And some days, the bar, well, he eats you.

Bow down in the face of a boss player.

An actual email sent to my supervisor today at work:


Alyssa,

It was my great pleasure several weeks ago, to speak with Michael Kinsella.

He took my call inquiring about Jimmy Fallon Live tickets and coached me on the daily call back process which I followed diligently.

Today was the day and wonder of wonders I got Michael again after re-dialing for over 90 minutes. He was right, patience paid off...

He secured my daughter and I two tickets for the August 10th taping and we are so excited!

We have travelled the world and met countless ticket/customer service representatives.

People normally take the time to complain about poor service and rarely take the time to extend gratitude for a job well done.

I am taking the time to tell you, Michael is the benchmark for customer service. He made me feel like a friend. We are planning to tour the NBC Studios and hope he is the one who directs our tour!

I know, I am dreaming, I am lucky I got the Fallon tickets and once again, THANK YOU to your staff for their kindness and professionalism.

Make it a great week Alyssa,

Linda Stevenson

p.s. I am cc'ing Michael, I don't think he believed I would really take the time to thank you!! :)

2 Years Out...

Wolfy, Phil and me in O'Hare before taking off for our journey

Yesterday, June 20, 2009 marks an historic day in Mikechop history.  Am I referring to the anniversary of the day our beloved Chicago Bulls took down the Phoenix Suns 4-2 to complete their first three-peat of the 90's back in 1993???  No.  How about the anniversary of the day Joltin' Joe Dimaggio had his 2,000th career hit in 1950?  Nope.  Perhaps the anniversary of the day Late Night king Johnny Carson married his 4th wife Alexis Mass back in 1987?  Negatory, ghostrider.  I'm not even talking about the day O.J. was arraigned on the murder charges of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman OR the day Pete Rose became just the 5th player ever to appear in 3,000 games...

I'm obviously referencing the 2 year anniversary of my trip to Europe with the Wolfman and Philbuck!!!  Come on!!!  How could you not know that?!?

So many great memories came rushing back as Wolfy and I reminisced yesterday that I decided it would be cool to put up a few pictures from the trip.  So sit back, relax, crack a beer, roll a splif, and enjoy a few gems from Euro-trip '07...

Boldly entering the crypt at St. Michan's cathedral...

Touring Paris with our old camp friend "Chappy"

Can you tell which one is the wax figurine???  I didn't think so.

Wolfy "falling" off the cliffs on Inis Moor

The Three Amigos in Madrid.  Classic.

Dinner at "Botin" in Madrid -- the world's oldest restaurant (Est. 1725)

Cable cars up Le Saleve in Geneva, Switzerland (Alt: 1,380 Meters)

Step aside, Lance.

Wolf and Philbuck: "Go away!!!"

"To the death!!  Theirs, not ours! Sparta!!!"

Florence - Drink it in...  It always goes down smooth.

A canal in Venezia

"AHHHH!!!!!!"

The best sunset I have ever seen in my life in Mykonos, Greece

Priceless.

Dinner and drinks at the Hofbrauhaus beer hall in Munich, Germany

The view from inside Neuschwanstein Castle - the model for the Cinderella castle and home of Mad King Ludwig ("King Ludwig was NOT crazy, he was just a little bit ahead of his time!")

....

A funky astronomical clock in Prague, Czech Republic

What a trip!!!

Nobody ever accused Ozzie of being too smart

A quote from Ozzie Guillen after the White Sox blew a 5-1 lead in the 8th inning to lose to the Cubs 6-5 on June 18, 2009:

"I think the reason they won is because Linebrink didn't

throw the ball over the plate.  When he threw the ball over

the plate, it was a home run."

Let's all just take a brief moment to appreciate the utter stupidity of this comment.  So the Cubs won because Linebrink didn't throw the ball over the plate, but when he did, the Cubs hit home runs, which led to their victory.

Everybody get that???

Just checking.

"What do tigers dream of...

...when they take a little tiger snooze???

Do they dream of mauling zebras???

...Don't you worry your pretty striped head--we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed.  And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug!!  And then we're gonna give him a best friend hug!!!!!"

Thoughts on a dark and dreary Cubs season thus far...

OK, if last nite's game against the Braves doesn't show what it's like to be a Cubs fan then I don't know what does.

It's just so damn depressing sometimes...



For those of you who were lucky enough NOT to be paying attention to the slop-show that was the Cubs last nite (or this whole season for that matter), let me fill you in. Rookie starting pitcher Randy Wells continued his surprising year (as he still looks for his first big league win), taking a no-no into the 7th inning. All this went for naught as he was removed for the increasingly incapable Carlos Marmol, who was then relieved by the continually disappointing Kevin Gregg. I'd rather not go into specifics, but during this time the Cubs managed to blow the 5-0 lead that Wells had staked them to, went to extra innings, and then eventually lost 6-5 on a Chipper Jones base-hit.

I guess Wells will just have to wait another 5 days to get another shot at his first W. I can't imagine the Cubs deciding to send him back down to triple-A or converting him to a reliever at this point, especially with the consistent health issues of Rich "I'm a Gimp" Harden, and the disappointing performances of Sean Marshall, Ryan Dempster, and Big-Z. However, I suppose he could just end up being the odd-man out of the rotation if Harden comes back and can stay healthy. Personally, I would much rather have Wells taking the mound every 5th day than seeing Marshall out there.

Some other tidbits floating around my pea-sized cranium this morning:

-Gameboard, thanks for nothing. I seriously can't believe you are injured AGAIN. 1st year of a 3 year, $30 million deal is looking pretty good. I'm realllllly glad we decided to go out and get that left-handed power bat in the lineup, it's working out great.
-Dempster, way to also not live up to your huge contract thus far. $52 million??? Although in all fairness I will say this: I was in favor of resigning Demp for that much. I think Dempster is going to be just fine. He's steadily improved in his most recent starts with 1 exception. I, unlike many others, do NOT believe that last year was a fluke, and I think that as the season progresses he will post far better numbers, especially as he gets more starts at home.
-Zambrano, get your act together. You're supposed to be the ace of this staff, start acting like one. If you need an example, take a look at Roy Halladay, CC Sabathia, or Johan Santana. (All players to whom you would probably compare yourself.)
-Lee, I think it's time to move over and make way for the Hoff. And I don't mean the Hasselhoff. (I don't care if you did homer last nite..)
-Reed Johnson, your beard is glorious.
-Marmol, I have no words for you...
-Gregg, as I said when we got you and ditched Kerry: "UGH!!!"

Zebras.

Yep.

This Will Blow Your Mind

A big thanks to Patches for the heads up on Google Wave.  In case you didn't know, Google is going to take over the world.  If you don't believe me, just watch some or all of this video:

Apocalypse Now

A medical student says he was suspended from New Jersey's University of Medicine and Dentistry for insisting that he's a white African-American.  Paulo Serodio, 42, was born in Mozambique before moving to the U.S., and described himself in a class assignment on identity as "white, African, American."  Serodio says students and faculty berated him, saying no white person could call himself an African-American.  When he persisted, he was suspended for two years.  He is now suing the school.

Not Worthless

Words cannot describe the awesomeness of this video...

Worthless

There is a guy who has made it a goal to visit every Starbucks in the world. I don't know about you, but this "recreational act" or "hobby" only inspires hate from me. What is the point? I mean, really. What is the point??? I don't think I can think of a bigger waste of time and money.

He says that his rule is that he must drink at least one caffeinated drink at each one and he also takes a picture of himself outside the store.  You know what my rule is?  He's an idiot.

As Cartman would say, "Lame."

On a side note, apparently this guy is also a top 100 ranked Scrabble player for the United States, so he has two (count them!), two worthless hobbies. Keep up the good work!

Arbitrary Thoughts

If there were one word I could use to describe the Snickers I just ate it would have to be "Substantialiscious."

Substantialiscious \sub-'stan(t)-shu-'li-shus\
(noun). The weight of something when you weigh it with your tongue.

Apocalypse Now

Or is it just Dune coming to real life??? You be the judge:

"Astronauts on space station drink water recycled from urine, sweat, and water condensed from exhaled air."





Water World was a cinematic masterpiece!!!!!!!!

Apocalypse Now

Given all the recent hullabaloo about Manny, A-Fraud and the 100's (or thousands) of other steroid users in Major League Baseball, I found the following story quite humorous and poignant:

"Belgian bodybuilders run from doping officials during championship"

So apparently a bodybuilding championship was scheduled to take place over in Brussells, but in an apparent attempt to dodge doping officials it was moved across the border in Holland to Vlissingen (try saying that 5 times fast). Just one problem for the roid-heads... the doping officials obtained the neccessary documents to inspect the tournament in its new location. Zing.

So what did these guys do? Submit to the testing? Go on a steroid-driven rampage around the nice little town of Vlissingen??

Nah.

Instead, in their infinite wisdom, twenty of the bodybuilders actually physically fled the scene of the championship!!! How great a mental image is that??? Twenty huge, roided up 300-400 pound guys grabbing their gear and running out of the building!! Are guys that big even able to run?!?!

In any case, it must've been quite the scene. I just hope that in their hurry they didn't forget their protein powder and weight belts.

Another great note from the article linked above: "Last year, 22 of the 29 tests were positive, either for steroids or for refusing testing."

Wow. I'd say there might be a little problem... maybe.

Arbitrary Thoughts...

Is it ever going to get warm out?? It's May 19. Be serious Mother Nature.

A Club I Hope I Never Join...

Healthy FAIL.

Arbitrary Thoughts

Coffee tastes weird with sugar in it.

*Thanks Robbie.

M.K.'s Road To Redemption... We Talkin' Bout Practice

"...I mean, I might've missed one practice this year.  But if--if somebody say, 'He doesn't come to practice.'  It could be one practice, out of all the practices this year.  That's enough...."*

- The Answer

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

(7:30 - 9:00 PM)

1.)  Warmup:

400 Free

300 I.M.  (Kick, Drill, Swim)

200 Kick

100 Choice

2.)

12 x 50

   3 Times:

       2 Free (:40)

       2 Kick (1:00)

3.)

75 Fast (:55)

2 x 100 Easy (1:35)

100 Fast (1:25)

2 x 100 Easy (1:35)

75 Fast (:55)

2 x 100 Easy (1:35)

2 x 50 Fast (:45)

2 x 100 Easy (1:35)

2 x 25 Fast (:20)

2 x 100 Easy (1:35)

2 x 50 Fast (:45)

4.)

6 x 50 (:50)

     #3, 4 (1 breath down, 2 breaths back)

Daily Total:  4,900 Yards

Redemption Total:  57,650 Yards

*I might've missed more than just "one" practice...  And by 'more than just "one,"' I mean the last week and half.